Chez Hopeless-Savage-Parker, New York, Friday

[swerval_zero]

"Go for credit in the straight world
Look a dealer in the eye
Go for credit in the real world
Won't you try?"

Zero was singing as she surfed the job listings on Craigslist. This might or might not be a product of the weirdness of her particular alma mater. It was hard to say with Zero. Sometimes she just sang.

"I got some credit in the straight world
I lost a leg, I lost an eye
Go for credit in the real world
You won't die."

When she jumped up and started bouncing around the living room like it was her own personal mosh pit...well, that could have gone either way, too.

"Instant credit in the straight world
Leaving money when you die
Lots of credit in the real world
Gets you high."

((Open to calls, texts, e-mails, That Guy, etc.))

Comments

[swerval_zero]

"Spider-man, Spider-man, does whatever a spider can," Zero sang, and then she said, "What's the problem, hooskspider?"

Yeah, those were some awful lyrics.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"I don't know what song it is I'm singing, but it's just bad," Peter said. "Also, I don't know why I'm singing."

[swerval_zero]

Zero had been singing all day, but again: that was just a thing that happened. The bursting into song during class had been a little unfortunate, though...

"Do you need a reason to sing?" she asked. This was, like, brand new information.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"I know you don't, but I do," Peter said. "And usually that reason is to drive bank robbers nuts. But that didn't happen today."

[swerval_zero]

"And you're singing crappy songs." Well, that was unfortunate. "Maybe it's a high school thing?"

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"I haven't watched Disney Channel recently, so I haven't seem those movies in months," Peter said despite the fact that Disney really had great shows, and he didn't just think that due to corporate synergy.

[swerval_zero]

"What movies?" Zero hadn't watched Disney in...approximately ever. It didn't really go with the punk raising.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"I love you even though you make my jokes tough sometimes," Peter said. "You're talking about Fandom?"

[swerval_zero]

Hers was a special upbringing. Like the Osbournes, without all the yelling and videocameras, but plus occasional kidnappings. "Can you think of another reason you'd be bursting into squallin' song?"

At least they had all their correct bits now.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"A bizarre but effective new supervillain? Bored telepath? Latent effects of the spider bite?" Peter suggested.

This world offered some odd possibilities, yes.

[swerval_zero]

"Okay, so you have a point," Zero conceded. "But if it was a supervillain wouldn't he already have declared himself in some stupid flashy way?" Unless they'd finally gotten a smart one.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"The reveal could be in the next song," Peter said. "But since I've just been singing the same thing over and over, I... I... I’d be myself, If I knew who I’d become...." Peter covered his mouth with his hands. He was even using his powers to stick his hands securely to his face.

Just ignore the mumbling.

[swerval_zero]

"Okay, that doesn't even make any sense," Zero said, planting her hands on her hips.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

Peter finally got control over himself again after the end of the first verse, so he pulled his hands away. "You're telling me. I'm pretty sure the lyrics made a purse snatcher return a purse earlier."

[swerval_zero]

"Well, at least you're using your newfound powers for good?" Zero tried. And then... "Is he strong? Listen, bud, he's got radioactive blood!" Disclaimer: Peter did not have radioactive blood. Zero hoped.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"Are you still singing about me?" Peter asked.

[swerval_zero]

"...do you have radioactive blood?"

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"Nope. It's just genetically altered with experimental chemicals and spider venom," Peter explained. "But nothing radioactive."

[swerval_zero]

Yeah, Zero was still never going to get that right. "Then I don't know! Spins a web, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies
Look out!
Here comes the Spider-Man."

...

"Apparently yes."

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"I think I have a problem with your song's accuracy," Peter said.

[swerval_zero]

"I think I have a problem with your song's quality," was her snappy rejoinder, there.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"You've only heard the first verse. It gets so much worse," Peter said.

He waited for the next line. Nope. That was just random unintentional rhyming.

[swerval_zero]

"I'm not sure I wanna know."

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"I'm not sure you have a choice in the matter," Peter sighed.

"Not every wanderer
Is lost or far from home
I didn’t have to move so far
To find myself alone

Save, you save yourself
Can’t even get that right
I used to use a single thread to cross the sky
And now the eye of the needle is a heart denied

See how the boy falls from the sky"

[swerval_zero]

"Well, that's terrible," Zero said bluntly. "And depressing."