Chez Hopeless-Savage-Parker, New York, Friday

[swerval_zero]

"Go for credit in the straight world
Look a dealer in the eye
Go for credit in the real world
Won't you try?"

Zero was singing as she surfed the job listings on Craigslist. This might or might not be a product of the weirdness of her particular alma mater. It was hard to say with Zero. Sometimes she just sang.

"I got some credit in the straight world
I lost a leg, I lost an eye
Go for credit in the real world
You won't die."

When she jumped up and started bouncing around the living room like it was her own personal mosh pit...well, that could have gone either way, too.

"Instant credit in the straight world
Leaving money when you die
Lots of credit in the real world
Gets you high."

((Open to calls, texts, e-mails, That Guy, etc.))

Comments

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

Normally Peter took his time and was meticulous about entering the apartment through the window in costume to make sure he wouldn't catch anyone's attention. Not this time. He was being plagued by a horrible fate. He was, for some reason, singing a song that sounded like it was from a troubled, over-budget, horribly delayed, all around bad idea of a licensed superhero Broadway musical.

"I’d be myself
If I knew who I’d become
You fly too high
And get too close to the sun

See how the boy falls from the sky"

"Zero, make me stop singing!" Peter said as he pulled off his mask. "It's horrible!"

He was talking about the lyrics.

[swerval_zero]

"Spider-man, Spider-man, does whatever a spider can," Zero sang, and then she said, "What's the problem, hooskspider?"

Yeah, those were some awful lyrics.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"I don't know what song it is I'm singing, but it's just bad," Peter said. "Also, I don't know why I'm singing."

[swerval_zero]

Zero had been singing all day, but again: that was just a thing that happened. The bursting into song during class had been a little unfortunate, though...

"Do you need a reason to sing?" she asked. This was, like, brand new information.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"I know you don't, but I do," Peter said. "And usually that reason is to drive bank robbers nuts. But that didn't happen today."

[swerval_zero]

"And you're singing crappy songs." Well, that was unfortunate. "Maybe it's a high school thing?"

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"I haven't watched Disney Channel recently, so I haven't seem those movies in months," Peter said despite the fact that Disney really had great shows, and he didn't just think that due to corporate synergy.

[swerval_zero]

"What movies?" Zero hadn't watched Disney in...approximately ever. It didn't really go with the punk raising.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"I love you even though you make my jokes tough sometimes," Peter said. "You're talking about Fandom?"

[swerval_zero]

Hers was a special upbringing. Like the Osbournes, without all the yelling and videocameras, but plus occasional kidnappings. "Can you think of another reason you'd be bursting into squallin' song?"

At least they had all their correct bits now.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"A bizarre but effective new supervillain? Bored telepath? Latent effects of the spider bite?" Peter suggested.

This world offered some odd possibilities, yes.

[swerval_zero]

"Okay, so you have a point," Zero conceded. "But if it was a supervillain wouldn't he already have declared himself in some stupid flashy way?" Unless they'd finally gotten a smart one.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"The reveal could be in the next song," Peter said. "But since I've just been singing the same thing over and over, I... I... I’d be myself, If I knew who I’d become...." Peter covered his mouth with his hands. He was even using his powers to stick his hands securely to his face.

Just ignore the mumbling.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

*riiiing*

Parker hated her liiiiiiiiife.

I love my bionic eyes
I love my crystal vision
If there's anybody out there
Baby I'm not gonna miss 'em

[swerval_zero]

"Hang on," Zero said, and called over her shoulder, "PETER! It's not just us! Parker's got it, too!" Then, back to the phone, "I told him it wasn't a new supervillain."

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"Good," Parker growled. "Because I was going to kill one of the idiot geniuses if it turned out this wasn't a Fandom thing."

Kyle and Alex were currently laughing themselves sick over her rendition of "The Movie Song" to Jarod. Who had thought it sweet.

Parker was considering a double homicide.

[swerval_zero]

"Peter's been singing the worst song," Zero reported. "It squalls. It squalls hard."

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"Tell me what it is," Parker demanded, because she wanted to appreciate someone else's mortification.

And, of course, share her own.

"Miss Independent... JUST KILL ME!!

Miss Self-sufficient
Miss Keep-your-distance
Miss Unafraid
Miss Outta-my-way ...."

Parker would be stuffing a pillow in her mouth now, thanks.

[swerval_zero]

"Iunno, it sounds like bad Broadway. Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours to go, I wanna be sedated."

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"Why do you get the Ramones, and I get goddamn Kelly Clarkson?" Parker demanded. "I want my Bitch song. I will sing it on purpose if I have to."

[swerval_zero]

"Because I'm me?" Zero suggested. She was a Hopeless-Savage, come on. "Nothing to do, nowhere to go-o, I wanna be sedated."

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a--

Oh hell I'm not. Damnit," Parker cursed. "This is what I get for going business instead of music--

Takin' care of business
Ev'ry day!
Takin' care of business!
Eve'ry way!
I say takin' care of business!
It's all right!
Takin' care of business!
And workin' overtime! Look out!"

[swerval_zero]

"This has to end soon, before Peter sings that squallin' song again--Just hurry hurry hurry, before I go insane."

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"I am going back to the island to kill whatever causes this--

Aruba, Jamaica, Ooo I wanna take ya,
Bermuda, Bahama..."

Parker took a breath and found herself singing, "Way down to Kokomo, where the wild trees blow..."

Headdesk.

"Stop laughing, Kyle. Or I'm feeding you to the experimental sharks."

[swerval_zero]

"EXPERIMENTAL SHARKS?!"