Though She Is But Little, She Be Fierce

"Okay," Zero said, "here's the swoo. We're lost and broken down, an' the phones don't work. So what we need to do is split up--and yes, I know this goes against horror movie logic, but hear me out--split up an' go for help. So I'll take half of you and go east, and Parker will take the other half and go west. Who's comin' with me?"

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Nadia looked between Parker and Zero.

Parker was badass.

Zero had a mallet.

"I'll go east. . . ."

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notthehulk.livejournal.com

Teddy looked at Zero and Nadia. Urge to protect, rising.

"I'll go east too."

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"This is probably better," Zero said as soon as she was pretty sure they were out of Parker's hearing range. "Jack said the magic words. We're safer without him."

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"Oh no. He didn't." Nadia shook her head, despite having no idea what magic words Zero was referring to. "That fool."

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"He did," Zero said mournfully. "We're so doomed."

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peter--parker.livejournal.com

"Why'd he have to say 'please'?" Peter asked. Yes, he was making a dumb joke. He did that in these situations. A lot.

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"Well, anyway," Nadia shrugged. "Doomed or not, we've still got to figure out a way out of here. Should we go?"

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"Yes," Zero said. "Onward, to rescue." She really hoped her purple hair wouldn't count toward her doomed-ness because she was a natural blonde.

They'd been walking for about ten minutes when there was a rustling in the bushes by the side of the road. Zero clung to Peter and said, "What was that??" Then something started muttering. "The wind? It's the wind, right?"

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Nadia froze, standing quietly.

"Okay, that was funny when I did it. . . . I swear, if that's Chad, I'll kill him."

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peter--parker.livejournal.com

"I don't think it's the wind," Peter said. "It should be safe." He spoke as one who would know if something was about to chop his head off.

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"Uh-huh." Zero didn't sound convinced.

The muttering was now definitely words. "Who's got my--"

"Did it say 'tailybone'?" Zero asked. "NOT FUNNY, CHAD!"

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"We don't got no tailybones here!" Pippi called out.

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"It's Chad, right? It's totally Chad."

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"Kinda not exactly Chad's cadence..." Pippi mused. "We don't got no tailypos either!"

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Nadia slowly stepped forward, digging her lighter out of her pocket again. "Maybe it's actually someone? Hello! We need some help!"

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"Taily-"mumble, "Taily-"mumble, "I want my taily-"mumble.

"What is it saying?" Zero asked. "A bone? We don't have any bones!" she called into the darkness. "Maybe it's a code?"

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Nadia flicked her lighter on as she stepped forward again, calling "hello?" softly.

Two spots of light flickered, and Nadia stepped forward again, holding the lighter out. The light glinted again.

Two yellow eyes, peering through the brush.

Nadia froze. "I don't think that's a person," she called backwards softly.

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It sure talked like a person...

"Parlay?"

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"It's kinda low to the ground for a person...maybe it's a lost kid? With really freaky eyes? Sweetie, if you come out, we'll help you find your taily thing."

"Taily-po!"

"Yes, yes, your tailybone. Whatever that is."

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Nadia crouched down low, bringing the lighter closer to the eyes again. "I really hope you're a person--"

A critter that was not so much people shaped as black and furry with pointed ears and a stumpy little bit of a tail came leaping out of the bushes.

Right on top of Nadia. That would be a scream from Nadia as her lighter went flying and she toppled backwards, the things long and very sharp claws whirled and scratched at her furiously.

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"Hey! Hey! BAD...thingy!" Zero yelled, whipping off her jacket and trying to use it to grab the thingy. "BAD! Pippi, help me!"

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"Oh how cute!" Pippi said reaching for the thing with her bare hands. "Angry, but cute!"

It's possibly a bad idea to grab hold of something that is in the process of doing a convincing Tasmanian Devil impression.

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