The Arms, Room 614, Saturday (sometime)

[swerval_zero]

While Peter was getting diagnosed with an eventually fatal disease at the clinic, Zero had awakened.

Then Zero had been clubbed over the head and replaced by her evil twin, One. One would show them. She'd show them all. She'd make her parents regret the day they'd decided they only wanted four children and had given her up for adoption to a perfectly nice family of dentists. First, she would steal Zero's boyfriend, and then...her whole life. One monologued about this at length to a handy light fixture. It just seemed like the thing to do.

She hoped her dye job was okay. How did people live with their hair like this, honestly?

Comments

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

Peter returned to the hotel room, looking horrified. "Zero, my dear," he said. "I have horrible news."

[swerval_zero]

"Oh, Peter, my darling," One said breathlessly, exactly the way she had practiced. "I have wonderful news!"

Then she realized what he'd said and her voice went back to normal. "What." This wasn't the plan!

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"Before my horrible news, I want to hear your wonderful news!" Peter said. Anything to take his mind off his incurable disease that would kill him in a scant three decades.

[swerval_zero]

"I'm pregnant!" One said. "With twins!"

One was not actually pregnant. But hey, she could alway steal a baby.

Or two.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"Dearest! This is such great news!" Peter said, hugging her gently so as to not crush the tiny babies. The babies who would only know him for 29 years. But he pushed that from his mind. "Here, I was saving this for later, but this deserves celebration!" Peter pulled a second lollipop that he had taken from the clinic out of his pocket and gave it to 'Zero.'

[swerval_zero]

One took the lollipop and said, "Oh, thank you, darling! But I couldn't possibly, now that I'm pregnant." Ew, sugar. It would rot her teeth. "Peter," she said, "we should get married right away. I couldn't bear the thought of our children being born..." sniffle "out of wedlock."

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"Time is of the essence, Zero, my darling," Peter said. "For you see... I have a fatal case of spleenitis. Doctor Lily told me that I only have thirty years left to live and I don't want to waste a single second of my time left on this Earth! Marry me, Zero! The sooner the better!"

[swerval_zero]

"Oh, no," One breathed. "Not spleenitis! We cannot waste a moment of our precious time! I would hate for our daughters to grow up not knowing their father!" You know, since they might not get to know him before they were thirty. If they were real.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"Quickly, my love! To the church! We're sure to find a priest there!" Peter said.

[swerval_zero]

"To the church!" One agreed, and tossed the silly lollipop he'd given her over her shoulder when she was sure he wasn't looking.