"Watch." Zero turned the camcorder on and pointed it at herself. "Hello, everyone, and welcome to the inaugural episode of "Zero Versus Hollywood." I'm Zero, and that--" she swung the camera toward the window briefly, "is Hollywood." A beat. "Actually, it's USC. Never mind that. Hollywood's out there, is the thing. Today, we're going to talk about a reality show! Are you ready for this? "Who Wants to be the Nation's Next Top Model," and now that I've got that mouthful out, a disclaimer: a friend of mine is competing on this show. No I won't tell you who he is, and yes I reserve the right to mock him with impunity. Today I'm going to mock this Jon guy. Apparently he's from Alaska? Where they don't have music or movies. Which is a lie because my parents played a show there when I was five. I went along and it was cold. They have snow in Alaska, by the way. And moose. Mooses. Meese? Who bloody well cares?! They also have crazy politicians, so maybe Jon should stop talking about Alaska before people remember who else came from there. And let's talk about reality shows. Not that I necessarily think most of the people on that show have two brain cells to rub together, but I'm sure in the course of a week's filming they do lots of things that make them look less stupid than what makes it to screen, so why is it that's what we're shown? What does that say about America, and what does it say about Hollywoood that people being stupid is what they think America wants? Think about that. This is Zero, signing out."

Zero hit stop, lowered the camera, and looked at Parker. "How was that?"