Though She Is But Little, She Be Fierce

Parker took this to mean that she could come in, and knocked first.

"Zero. It's me. I'm not armed."

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"If you're lying, I have a taser," Zero said warily. "Enter."

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Parker came in holding a bribe before her: a big bag of Dove chocolates. And a very calculating look. "I don't want to go back to jail, Zero. It's cold there!"

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Zero rolled her eyes at her. "You won' go back to jail, Parker. It wasn' you; it'll never stand up in court. The footage isn't for sale, but I can show you something funny."

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"Funny is good. Funny will keep me from going pyro on this whole school." Parker sat down on a nearby swivel chair and popped a chocolate in her mouth. "Go for it."

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Zero hit play on a clip of her interview with Simba the lion cub. "Guess who this is."

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Parker chortled. She had to. The Cute was nearly tangible. "Uhh-- I don't know, Cam? Crichton? They've both turned into animals before." She grinned as Simba frolicked. "Rita fed him PopTarts on Saturday, whoever he is."

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"Nope. Better." She hit another button, switching to a screencap of the cub captioned with 'HAMLET' in giant letters and a giant, flashing red arrow pointing to the cub himself.

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Jake dropped by. He brought coffee in case Zero needed something to fuel her artistic vision. "How's it going?"

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"Oh. My. God." Parker nearly choked on a chocolate, then started laughing. "Seriously? Mr. Goth was that fuzzy wuzzy lion cub?!"

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Zero shrugged. "S'far's I can tell. The lion cub was a prince, Hamlet's a prince...until someone else comes forward an' owns up to it, I'm runnin' with it."

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"Oh, hey!" Zero glared at her screen. "Some of these are more difficult to work with than others." She glared at Hermione, paused on her screen.

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Jake held up a thermos towards her. "Coffee?" He came closer so he could look over her shoulder. "...Too much material or can't you figure out what she's actually saying?"

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Snickering, Parker considered, and said, "I think I saw Peter Pevensie around somewhere, soooo... yes. Probably." The smile faded a little, and she gave Zero a careful look. "What else?"

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"Nope, Peter was a ho. I think you can see him in the background of my interview of Rory who thought she was Becky, a bit. With Bridge. Who also thought he was a ho."

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Zero snatched the thermos and clung to it. "It's just so...horrifying."

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"Weiss told Rita about that, but she was so focused on making him like her that I don't think it even sank in," Parker marveled. "That really happened? So Bridge really.... Ohhh my god." She leaned back, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

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Jake had to admit this was true. "I've always heard you have to suffer for your art, though," he said, in a bizarre attempt to cheer her up. "And think of the joy you'll be spreading." He thought about what he'd heard about Hermione. "Maybe we should bring alcohol to the viewing as well."

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"At the present time," Zero said primly, "we do not know what Bridge did or did not do." Then she grinned impishly. "But that doesn't mean we can't mock him for it."

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"If nothin' else, some of the 'affected' would probably appreciate it. This is...there's so much gold. I think I've narrowed the lion cub down to Hamlet, but no clue on the giant lion who said he wasn' a lion. He didn' give me enough of an interview to work with."

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Parker's lips twitched, and she leaned back, crossing her arms. "I get the point here. Leave me out, and everyone else screams. And I can't deprive the world of Simba. That would be Wrong." She glowered at the screen, then grudgingly said, "Roll Rita. Let's see the damage."

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Jake took a sip of coffee and hurriedly swallowed. "The lovable, cheerful little lion was Hamlet? Do you think we need to set up a suicide watch? ...There was another lion too? Maybe it was Hamlet's dad?"

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"Might not be a bad idea. No, I think Hamlet's da's dead or summat. He's not in Fandom, at least." She turned to another screen, where a little turtle bravely trekked down the hallway. "Hey, can you get me a copy of "Flight of the Bumblebees" or whatever it's called?"

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"S'actually not that bad. I mean. By comparison. Okay, here's clip one." She played that, then, "Clip two," and, "And here's you in jail." After that played, Zero said, "I didn' know you an' Eric were so close."

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