swerval_zero: (Default)
2015-06-03 03:22 pm

Disclaimer

In creating this journal, the author has assumed the identity of a fictional person for use in the role-playing game [livejournal.com profile] fandomhigh, for the sole purpose of entertainment, without intending to obtain a benefit or to injure or defraud either the person who created the fictional person, or any reader of this content. The author does not purport to be the creator of the fictional person, or to be affiliated with the creator, or with any person or entity with an interest in the fictional person. The author does not claim to be the person who is being used as the graphical representation of that fictional person, nor intend to obtain a benefit or to injure or defraud that person by use of their image.
swerval_zero: (KB - performing - What's up Los Angeles?)
2014-03-02 03:58 pm

The Dolby Theater, LA, Sunday Afternoon

E!, in their infinite wisdom, had once again graced Zero Hopeless-Savage with a press pass, a cameraperson, and a microphone. She had immediately used her new position of power to ask Kelly Osbourne on camera and on the record why she'd gotten so boring with her hair, so this might be a decision they were already regretting, but Zero wasn't about to let that stop her. Some of these actresses definitely needed someone to ask them who the squall they'd let talk them into wearing that, and Zero was proud to be not the hero Hollywood deserved, but the hero it needed, to mangle a reference.

"Jennifer! Jennifer, over here, pick me!"

((Establishy, but open for calls or texts if you want to catch up with Zero after the show.))
swerval_zero: (KB - facepalm)
2013-02-28 08:41 pm

Chez Hopeless-Savage, LA, Thursday

Zero lay on her couch semi-diagonally, her head dangling off the cushion, her gaze on a takeout Chinese carton she really should throw away on the coffee table, her phone held to her ear as her brother, Twitch, said, "Zero, it's Thursday."

"I know."

"It's Thursday, the Oscars were Saturday, and you haven't updated your web show yet."

"I know."

"The natives are getting restless. And internet natives are terrifying."

"I know."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I have writer's block!" she wailed.

Silence. Then, "Oh, no."

"I know," Zero agreed sadly.

((Open for phone calls, e-mails, etc.))
swerval_zero: (Default)
2012-06-30 10:26 pm

A Random Club, LA, Saturday Evening

Let it be noted, for the record, that Skank Zero Hopeless-Savage was a good friend. And also currently suffering a wee bit from artistic block, which was why, when a friend with a band called in a panic on Saturday afternoon, explaining that they had a gig and their lead singer was in Portland for reasons unbeknown to humans who did normal or nonexistent amounts of drugs, she had agreed to help out.

Of course, they only had so many songs in common. Thankfully they knew "Cuddle Bug" and a few punk standards, but they'd been scraping the bottom of the barrel to come up with the last set list. Finally, the bassist in desperation had asked, "Do you know "Jolene"?"

"Doesn't everyone?" Zero had asked. She had opted not to mention that she had always been a little afraid her last relationship was going to go down the 'Jolene' road.

"So we'll do Jolene. It can be ironic."

"You don't do Dolly Parton ironic," Zero had chided.

So they did Jolene unironic. And it maybe kind of sort of brought down the house. Go figure.

((Establishy, open for calls, texts, e-mails. Y'all know the drill.))
swerval_zero: (KB - pigtails - worried)
2012-02-14 06:46 pm

Zero's Apartment, LA, Tuesday Afternoon

While Zero tried not to bow to societal pressures and expectations about something ridiculous about one romantic day out of the whole year or whatever, this was the first Valentine's Day she'd been single since high school, and she found herself kind of...down. Especially since her latest film project was hung up until the revived This is My Real Name Productions got ten bumper cars, a street filming permit, and a panda suit, so she didn't really have anything to do today.

She texted some of her fellow single LA friends to make plans to meet up for dinner from whatever street truck sounded good and then dancing the night away to combat the Valentine's Day blues, then sent out a mass e-mail:

e-card beneath the cut )

((Open for calls, texts, e-mails! If you think you got the card you totally did.))
swerval_zero: (OMGWTF?)
2011-10-09 11:20 pm

Zero's Apartment, Los Angeles, California, Sunday Night

Zero was trawling the internet, looking for reviews of the set she'd played at a local bar on Friday night, or reactions to the new Zero vs. Hollywood (in which she questioned Hugh Jackman's career path, and wondered if maybe America wanted him to be meta for Wolverine when Hugh wanted to be his musical theatre self, and that was why he made such questionable choices) when she found something completely different, something that made her choke on her tea and grab her phone to send out a mass text:

There is a BLOG POST on HOW TO GET MY STYLE. WHAT MADNESS IS THIS??????

She had the presence of mind to include a link to the post, which included three pictures of her. In one, she was leaving a coffee shop wearing her boots, ripped jeans, a plaid shirt, and heart-shaped sunglasses. In another, she was wearing the same ripped jeans and boots, a t-shirt from a friend's band's last tour, an oversized leather jacket, and sunglasses with bunny ears. In the third, she was still wearing her boots but she'd traded the ripped jeans for...another pair of ripped jeans, this time in hot pink, with a long-sleeved t-shirt and a tutu. Because tutus were in for fall?

((Open for calls or texts from anyone who thinks they might have gotten this!))
swerval_zero: (KB - pigtails - worried)
2011-05-17 02:56 pm

Zero's New Apartment, Los Angeles, California, Tuesday Afternoon

Everything had been done over the phone before Zero drove a giant teal van full of her stuff through a portal, so today the manager just unlocked the door and let her in. It was a nice apartment. A bit small, but it was just her and Fish; it wasn't like she needed a ton of space. She'd left most of the furniture in New York, since it didn't seem fair to leave Peter without any.

"What do you think, Fishy?" Zero asked her bird, holding up the cage to look in at him. For once, Fish was silent. "Yeh," Zero agreed. "Me, too."

She stood in the middle of the empty living room with her bird for a few minutes before she sighed, set Fish's cage down, and headed downstairs. She could brood, or she could schlep, and it wasn't like her stuff was going to move itself.

She had a sinking feeling that by the end of the day she was really going to be missing her ex-boyfriend's superstrength.

((Open to phone calls and texts. And yes, Zero and Peter have broken up by mutual agreement, and Zero is now back in her home universe's LA. She hasn't told anyone yet.))
swerval_zero: (door slam)
2010-12-31 11:46 pm

Casa de Swerval, Friday Night

Getting home from her parents should have been pretty easy: Zero had Portalocity. Of course, that neglected to account for Portalocity dropping her (and all her assorted leftovers, luggage, and presents) in the middle of Times Square on New Year's squalling Eve.

So...yeah. By the time Zero got home, she was in A Mood. Hopefully this would not persist into next year.

"I'm home!" she yelled. "And I brought presents! And rage!" She didn't know if Peter was actually home or not. He might have gone patrolling. Or he might be actually having fun somewhere. But if he was in the apartment, she figured he deserved fair warning.

((Open to the boyfriend if he's feeling brave, calls, e-mails, etc.)
swerval_zero: (Default)
2010-11-05 08:06 pm

Chez Hopeless-Savage-Parker, New York, Friday

"Go for credit in the straight world
Look a dealer in the eye
Go for credit in the real world
Won't you try?"


Zero was singing as she surfed the job listings on Craigslist. This might or might not be a product of the weirdness of her particular alma mater. It was hard to say with Zero. Sometimes she just sang.

"I got some credit in the straight world
I lost a leg, I lost an eye
Go for credit in the real world
You won't die."


When she jumped up and started bouncing around the living room like it was her own personal mosh pit...well, that could have gone either way, too.

"Instant credit in the straight world
Leaving money when you die
Lots of credit in the real world
Gets you high."


((Open to calls, texts, e-mails, That Guy, etc.))
swerval_zero: (KB - pigtails and sunglasses)
2010-07-31 04:11 am

Hopeless-Savage-Parker Apartment, New York, Saturday

It was a lazy day in New York, and Zero was debating what to do with herself now that she'd finished all of her summer classes. She kind of wanted ice cream, but that would require working up the energy to actually leave the apartment, and right now lazing on the couch and messing around with, variously, her cell phone and her guitar seemed to be about her speed for the day.

Her life was so fascinating, really.

((Open to phone calls, texts, e-mails, and that dude that lives in the apartment.))
swerval_zero: (KB - Zero with microphone)
2010-03-07 08:53 pm

Los Angeles, Sunday Evening

It was Oscar Night in Hollywood, which meant the stars were out in force, and Zero had once again somehow conned a press pass out of someone. It was her last hurrah before moving to another reality where she wasn't on the Z-list, so why not go all out?

After telling Miley Cyrus to stand up straight, dear, and some general terrorizing of Zac Efron in an attempt to get him to admit he had even less business being here than she did, she asked Zoe Saldana what was up with the bottom of her dress, thinking maybe some of the thingies from her movie had colonized it, and gently broke it to Sarah Jessica Parker that she was orange.

Her work here was done.

"This has been a very special Zero vs. Hollywood, and unless I feel the pressing need to make fun of something after the show, it'll also be my last. I'm moving. To...somewhere they don't have awards shows. I'd like to thank everyone who watched on YouTube, the guys from Spooky Things, and everyone who's put up with me. This is Zero, signing off. Now I'm going to go fangirl Helen Mirren."
swerval_zero: (KB - blonde - lightning round!)
2009-11-07 09:15 pm

Zero & Peter's Apartment (Casa Swerval), Los Angeles, Saturday Night

Zero was sitting upside down on the couch, feet in the air and her head near the floor, and her camcorder had been rigged up under the coffee table with tape and a couple of unbent wire hangers. She reached over, pressed 'record,' and started reading from a set of index cards all metaed as appropriate:

Cut for length and ragging on a perfectly respectable actor. )

((Open to the boyfriend or for phone calls/e-mails/carrier pigeons.))
swerval_zero: (OMGWTF?)
2009-08-03 08:59 pm

Apartment of Hopeless-Savage-Parker-Parker-ness, Monday Evening

Monday found Zero camped out in front of the TV, with snacks. And popcorn especially for throwing, because...

"YOU DON'T HAVE MUSIC IN ALASKA?!?!?!"

The neighbors were pretty much used to it by now.
swerval_zero: (Default)
2009-07-06 10:10 pm

Zero and Peter's Apartment, LA, Monday Evening

So there was a show about models. Normally Zero ignored those, because the stupid hurt her brain and she'd gotten enough of it that one time she'd volunteered to help out at Claude's show, anyway, but this show about models was different. This show about models had someone she knew in it. A former bandmate, even. So Zero was camped out on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn in her lap and Fish perched on one shoulder, cheering Chad on.

She just hoped being around other models didn't somehow leach his brains.

((Open for phone, e-mail, or either person named Parker who is not a blonde))
swerval_zero: (KB - closeup)
2009-06-15 07:02 pm

USC, Monday Afternoon

Zero was sitting in her music management seminar, pretending to pay attention but actually surfing the internet, because laptops were magical when she came across an ecard she thought was kind of funny. After about three seconds contemplation, she decided the most worthy recipient would be Parker, just because that was totally random and absurd.

Little did she know. )

((Open for e-mail!))
swerval_zero: (OMGWTF?)
2009-03-31 09:11 pm

Zero and Peter's Apartment, LA, Tuesday Evening

There was nothing wrong here. Nothing to see. Move along, move along.

Zero certainly hadn't set the oven on fire making chocolate chip cookies. She wasn't Twitch. She could cook. So the kitchen filled with smoke and fire extinguisher stuff and the beeping fire alarm and Zero running around pulling her hair and freaking out and shouting into her cell phone that the fire department didn't need to come, she had it under control, well, those were all figments of the imagination. Really.

Today was not a good day in LA.

((Open for the boyfriend, or phone calls or e-mails, if you want!))
swerval_zero: (KB - Zero with microphone)
2009-02-22 07:34 pm

The Kodak Theater, Sunday Evening

Where Skank Zero Hopeless-Savage had gotten a red carpet press pass was going to be debated hotly among the crownèd heads of Hollywood for weeks to come. Her footage was shown on MTV, but they disavowed all responsibility for and knowledge of her actions.

Nonetheless, here she was, in a plaid dress and combat boots, with a frightened-looking cameraman, accosting any celebrity she could get her hands on:

"I'm here with those kids from those Secondary School Drama movies, and I have just one question for them: Who did you kill to get tickets to the bloody Oscars?"

"Ms. Swinton, and this is coming from me, what the squall are you wearing?"

"Angelina! Angelina! I'm not Ryan Seacrest! I can babysit! How are you walking so fast in heels?!"

((Establishy. And on crack.))
swerval_zero: (KB - don't mind me)
2009-01-26 03:58 pm

Supers Soundstage, LA

Zero was carrying a tray of coffees in one hand and someone's dry cleaning in the other when someone suddenly shouted, "YOU! Weird pop star kid!"

Zero Gets Promoted )
swerval_zero: (KB - omg yay)
2008-11-30 09:08 pm

Zero and Peter's Apartment, Sunday Evening

Zero returned from her trip home for Thanksgiving triumphantly carrying a cooler that had been searched by the TSA earlier in the day and found to contain only leftovers. "Hey, guys!" she called out as she kicked the door shut, assuming someone was somewhere in the apartment. If not, well, then the neighbors would know. "Great news! We're not gonna hafta cook before the end of finals!"

((Open to her fellow apartment-dweller and phone calls!)
swerval_zero: (OMGWTF?)
2008-11-03 11:00 pm

An Election Day E-Mail

To: Everyone Zero Knows
From: Zero
Subject: VOTE YOU SQUALLERS

content )

((Open for e-mails and ecards.))